What I would have told my naive self.... If only she would have listened

It's been a minute.
Or two.
I have truly been meaning to get back to my thoughts but, you know... Kids. Work. Life. And so forth...
Anyway, a couple weeks ago a friend sent me some (really) old photos I'd never seen.
And earlier today, I came across a status that proved to remind me that 9 years ago today was my last day at Wesley. Coincidentally, today, 9 years later, was my last day of full time orientation after making a comeback to the job I used to call mine, so many moons ago. 

9 years ago I was scared, I was lost, I was a hollow shell. 

My husband had died and every aspect of my life had changed. 

NOTHING was the same.

I tried to retunr to work in hopes that it would be a constant in my life. 

It was. 

But not the right kind. 

It was a constant reminder of changes that were out of my control. 

If only, I could go back, I'd tell the old me this . . . 

   I know you're scared. But, hang on. I know you feel like it will never get better. Hang on. I know you can't find yourself right now. That's ok. You have SO much beautiful life ahead of you. An amazing husband, and 3 more kids that will rock your world. Yes, I said 3 more. Yes, I know that equals 4 kids total. Don't worry, you got this. I know you look around, and he's gone. Unfortunately, that won't ever change. And, unfortunately, that won't ever get better. But live your life my dear. Cherish yesterday, love today, and have hope for tomorrow.